Archive | quotes RSS feed for this section

The Funny Side of Allergy Season – Ahh, Choo!

8 Apr

I love pollen by brookenovak @ flickr

From Denny: Check out these just wonderful science facts about pollen from Science Daily:

* Under human-induced climate change we expect higher wind speeds and more frequent storms will move pollen and seeds even farther from the source.

* The older a tree gets, the more pollen it produces each year.

* Long-distance dispersal of transgenic pine pollen is a potential problem only if that pollen is viable.

* Until then, the highest pine pollen had ever been found in the atmosphere was 1000 feet

* The odd thing is that pollen germination did not decline as distance increased … You would expect germination to gradually drop off as pollen floats further away, but that’s not the case.

* Pine pollen can travel up to 1800 miles in a short amount of time.

OK, everyone, do you get the idea that the plant world just might be mad at humanity and this is their revenge? As it was I ran across a study of growing hay fever plants in a carbon dioxide rich environment that caused the plants to produce 61% more pollen. Supposedly, we cannot blame the sooty air all on car emissions as apparently plants and trees make up 80% of the pollution.

So, this is what humanity can expect, just in time for the 2012 predictions of the end of the world as we know it: Climate change is causing faster winds and more storms to blow pollen our way from the ends of the earth that we have never experienced. Trees on this planet are arriving in old age so they are having a last fling at reproducing themselves with the ladies so they are sending out Viagra moments at an alarming rate. Pine pollen is like a blood hound; it likes to travel ridiculously long distances and arrive on your doorstep.

Quote

* I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. – James Thurber

*** For the full post with many more funny quotes, a funny allergy season customer service tech support joke and lots of entertaining photos – and your very own special link to a pollen count in your area – hike on over to The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day:

Funny Allergy Quotes – Cheeky Quote Day 7 Apr 2010

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

The Funny Side of Allergy Season – Ahh, Choo!

7 Apr

I love pollen by brookenovak @ flickr

From Denny: Check out these just wonderful science facts about pollen from Science Daily:

* Under human-induced climate change we expect higher wind speeds and more frequent storms will move pollen and seeds even farther from the source.

* The older a tree gets, the more pollen it produces each year.

* Long-distance dispersal of transgenic pine pollen is a potential problem only if that pollen is viable.

* Until then, the highest pine pollen had ever been found in the atmosphere was 1000 feet

* The odd thing is that pollen germination did not decline as distance increased … You would expect germination to gradually drop off as pollen floats further away, but that’s not the case.

* Pine pollen can travel up to 1800 miles in a short amount of time.

OK, everyone, do you get the idea that the plant world just might be mad at humanity and this is their revenge? As it was I ran across a study of growing hay fever plants in a carbon dioxide rich environment that caused the plants to produce 61% more pollen. Supposedly, we cannot blame the sooty air all on car emissions as apparently plants and trees make up 80% of the pollution.

So, this is what humanity can expect, just in time for the 2012 predictions of the end of the world as we know it: Climate change is causing faster winds and more storms to blow pollen our way from the ends of the earth that we have never experienced. Trees on this planet are arriving in old age so they are having a last fling at reproducing themselves with the ladies so they are sending out Viagra moments at an alarming rate. Pine pollen is like a blood hound; it likes to travel ridiculously long distances and arrive on your doorstep.

Quote

* I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. – James Thurber

*** For the full post with many more funny quotes, a funny allergy season customer service tech support joke and lots of entertaining photos – and your very own special link to a pollen count in your area – hike on over to The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day:

Funny Allergy Quotes – Cheeky Quote Day 7 Apr 2010

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

The Funny Side of Allergy Season – Ahh, Choo!

7 Apr

I love pollen by brookenovak @ flickr

From Denny: Check out these just wonderful science facts about pollen from Science Daily:

* Under human-induced climate change we expect higher wind speeds and more frequent storms will move pollen and seeds even farther from the source.

* The older a tree gets, the more pollen it produces each year.

* Long-distance dispersal of transgenic pine pollen is a potential problem only if that pollen is viable.

* Until then, the highest pine pollen had ever been found in the atmosphere was 1000 feet

* The odd thing is that pollen germination did not decline as distance increased … You would expect germination to gradually drop off as pollen floats further away, but that’s not the case.

* Pine pollen can travel up to 1800 miles in a short amount of time.

OK, everyone, do you get the idea that the plant world just might be mad at humanity and this is their revenge? As it was I ran across a study of growing hay fever plants in a carbon dioxide rich environment that caused the plants to produce 61% more pollen. Supposedly, we cannot blame the sooty air all on car emissions as apparently plants and trees make up 80% of the pollution.

So, this is what humanity can expect, just in time for the 2012 predictions of the end of the world as we know it: Climate change is causing faster winds and more storms to blow pollen our way from the ends of the earth that we have never experienced. Trees on this planet are arriving in old age so they are having a last fling at reproducing themselves with the ladies so they are sending out Viagra moments at an alarming rate. Pine pollen is like a blood hound; it likes to travel ridiculously long distances and arrive on your doorstep.

Quote

* I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. – James Thurber

*** For the full post with many more funny quotes, a funny allergy season customer service tech support joke and lots of entertaining photos – and your very own special link to a pollen count in your area – hike on over to The Social Poets for Cheeky Quote Day:

Funny Allergy Quotes – Cheeky Quote Day 7 Apr 2010

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

The Funny Side of Allergy Season – Ahh, Choo!

7 Apr

I love pollen by brookenovak @ flickr

From Denny: Check out these just wonderful science facts about pollen from Science Daily:

* Under human-induced climate change we expect higher wind speeds and more frequent storms will move pollen and seeds even farther from the source.

* The older a tree gets, the more pollen it produces each year.

* Long-distance dispersal of transgenic pine pollen is a potential problem only if that pollen is viable.

* Until then, the highest pine pollen had ever been found in the atmosphere was 1000 feet

* The odd thing is that pollen germination did not decline as distance increased … You would expect germination to gradually drop off as pollen floats further away, but that’s not the case.

* Pine pollen can travel up to 1800 miles in a short amount of time.

OK, everyone, do you get the idea that the plant world just might be mad at humanity and this is their revenge? As it was I ran across a study of growing hay fever plants in a carbon dioxide rich environment that caused the plants to produce 61% more pollen. Supposedly, we cannot blame the sooty air all on car emissions as apparently plants and trees make up 80% of the pollution.

So, this is what humanity can expect, just in time for the 2012 predictions of the end of the world as we know it: Climate change is causing faster winds and more storms to blow pollen our way from the ends of the earth that we have never experienced. Trees on this planet are arriving in old age so they are having a last fling at reproducing themselves with the ladies so they are sending out Viagra moments at an alarming rate. Pine pollen is like a blood hound; it likes to travel ridiculously long distances and arrive on your doorstep.

Quote

* I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing, sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what sort of allergy I had but finally came to the conclusion that it must be an allergy to consciousness. – James Thurber

*** For the full post with many more funny quotes, a funny allergy season customer service tech support joke and lots of entertaining photos – and your very own special link to a pollen count in your area – hike on over to The Social Poets and Cheeky Quote Day:

Funny Allergy Quotes – Cheeky Quote Day 7 Apr 2010

*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!

How Funny! 10 Banned Overused Buzzwords of 2009

4 Jan

From Denny: That’s the thing about buzzwords. First they are cool because they are a clever reference or manipulation of other words and then everyone starts using them. Our minds so crave something clever and unusual.

Then those same cool words get overused and suddenly people turn on them, like a rabid dog bites its once loved owner, declaring them now uncool. I can only imagine the confusion of someone trying to learn the English language. The occasional idioms are one thing but popular current language is a real mind-bender at times. I’m a native speaker and even I scratch my head sometimes, going, “Huh?” 🙂

Well, lucky you, these words and phrases are on their way “out” of our everyday language for 2010. Of course, who in the heck declares what’s “in” or “out” anyway? Some fairy godmother waving her wand over the globe? Well, on to new magic in the New Year!

Photo by Betsie Van Der Meer/Corbis

1. Sexting = sex + texting – Parents are horrified, kids snicker, while someone gets slapped with pornography charges for dirty dialing on the phone. Not too funny when the law comes calling and empties your wallet for the deed.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid photo by Nicholas Kamm/Getty

2. Public option – Health care reform bill reference to a government run health care plan that is actually affordable. The popular idea is it would compete with private plans to force the insurance companies to keep their prices in line “or else” the public has a cheaper alternative with the government. Works for me. Seems to me the only ones that want to ban this phrase are the insurance companies because it means less billion dollar profits to the CEOs.

3. Autotune – Refers to a software program to correct imperfect musical pitch. After rapper T-pain made good use of it the late night comedians picked it up and applied it weirdly to news clips. T-pain released his own iPhone app that has been downloaded to the tune of 10,000 a day. Bet he doesn’t care if he becomes a cliche with that kind of money rolling in daily at $3 an app. Whew!

Photo by Christy Bowe/Corbis

4. Wise Latina – Came from Sotomayor’s first Latina nomination to the Supreme Court. This is the much maligned and repeated line from her 2001 speech the racists tried to use against her: “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.” What’s funny is that her term of a wise Latina became a rallying cry in the Hispanic community where people proudly displayed it on T-shirts, coffee mugs, baby bibs and banners. Isn’t it great fun when the mean-spirited people get backfired?! 🙂

Republican Senator Grassley photo by Alex Wong/Getty

5. Death Panel – Senator Grassley from Iowa declared for sure that Obama’s health care plan would “pull the plug on Grandma.” This is the same guy who was crafting the bill, had read it supposedly and yet still claimed this to be true. The 1,000 page bill had no mention of committees that were set up to execute the infirm or the old. Dementia or just plain stupidity here?

Alaska’s weird Governor Palin shrieked from a Facebook message: “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society, whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.” Uh… Governor, can you read?

6. Birther – Speaking of shriekers, Orly Tait from California, peddled a huge fat lie that Obama was secretly smuggled into Hawaii just after his birth so he could qualify as an American citizen. What drugs was this guy on? This stuff is so incredulous you can’t make it up: he did. Now what mother who just gave birth is going to get on a plane with a day old baby and fly all the way from Kenya to America? Are you nuts or just not female? Worse, who is actually brain dead enough to believe any of this warped nonsense?

Obama was born in Hawaii, complete with birth certificate and birth announcement in a local paper. Yet the Birther crowd still demands to see the original document. Yeah, like I’m going to show a bunch of crazed folks my social security number and other personal data as a sitting President. Yeah, right.

Photo by Juice Images/Corbis

7. Opposite Marriage – It’s supposed to mean a marriage between a man and a woman but Miss California, Carrie Prejean, bungled her rambling answer to a question and it fumbled into this phrase. The question: Do you think gay marriage should be legalized in every state of the union? Answer: “Um, we live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there.” As you can guess there were some angry folks and a shouting match.

Michael Jackson Photo by Paul Richards/Getty

8. Summer of Death – A number of high profile notable celebrities passed away this year: singer Michael Jackson, actor Ed McMahon, actress Farrah Fawcett, newsman Walter Cronkite, actor and dancer Patrick Swayze, John Hughes and even beloved Taco Bell spokes-puppy Gidget the Chihuahua. Most of the deaths occurred from May to August of 2009.

From the New York Times: “No more celebrities had died than in past summers … this summer could come to be known as the summer when baby boomers began to turn to the obituary pages first, to face not merely their own mortality or ponder their legacies, but to witness the passing of legends who defined them as a tribe, bequeathing through music, culture, news and politics a kind of generational badge that has begun to fray.”

Photo by Pete Souza/White House/Getty

9. Beer Summit – Prez Obama met with black Harvard professor Henry Gates, Jr. and white police officer Sergeant James Crowley to defuse a racial incident between them. The local police badly handled a call from one of Gates’ neighbors who thought someone was breaking into Gates’ house: it was Gates fumbling with his keys at the door.

The police got angry when Gates got angry and the whole thing blew up out of proportion, taking on racial overtones and a national controversy. Obama made public comments about the incident when he really should have remained above the fray.

Police profiling of minorities is a sticking point in America even after electing the first African-American President. Obama successfully sat down with the men over shared beers to lay to rest the overblown sensitive issue. Of course, the photographers had never seen an American President do such a thing and went wild in the Rose Garden snapping a piece of history.

Photo by Simon Marcus/Corbis

10. Green Shoots – What’s the first thing you think of when you hear this phrase? Yep! Spring time and vibrant green plant shoots rocketing out of the ground at record pace. Turns out this phrase has been around about twenty years now. It really caught on this year when Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, in a 60 Minutes interview, used it to describe his optimism for this year’s economic growth.

Of course, since then depressed and disappointed analysts – and desperate journalists – jumped on the bandwagon and wore it out trying to use it as a soothing effect on their audiences. From Slate’s Daniel Gross: “Economists are now walking around, eyes fixed on the ground like French rustics hunting for truffles, searching for verdant signs of growth.”

I have to admit it was truly bizarre to hear modern day crusty personality business journalists using the phrase “verdant signs of growth” like they had just popped in from a 19th century luncheon with Sherlock Holmes at a poetry slam. I’ll have to keep my eye on these guys in 2010 just to make sure they aren’t suffering from buzzword dementia… 🙂

*** THANKS for visiting!

How Funny! 10 Banned Overused Buzzwords of 2009

4 Jan

From Denny: That’s the thing about buzzwords. First they are cool because they are a clever reference or manipulation of other words and then everyone starts using them. Our minds so crave something clever and unusual.

Then those same cool words get overused and suddenly people turn on them, like a rabid dog bites its once loved owner, declaring them now uncool. I can only imagine the confusion of someone trying to learn the English language. The occasional idioms are one thing but popular current language is a real mind-bender at times. I’m a native speaker and even I scratch my head sometimes, going, “Huh?” 🙂

Well, lucky you, these words and phrases are on their way “out” of our everyday language for 2010. Of course, who in the heck declares what’s “in” or “out” anyway? Some fairy godmother waving her wand over the globe? Well, on to new magic in the New Year!

Photo by Betsie Van Der Meer/Corbis

1. Sexting = sex + texting – Parents are horrified, kids snicker, while someone gets slapped with pornography charges for dirty dialing on the phone. Not too funny when the law comes calling and empties your wallet for the deed.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid photo by Nicholas Kamm/Getty

2. Public option – Health care reform bill reference to a government run health care plan that is actually affordable. The popular idea is it would compete with private plans to force the insurance companies to keep their prices in line “or else” the public has a cheaper alternative with the government. Works for me. Seems to me the only ones that want to ban this phrase are the insurance companies because it means less billion dollar profits to the CEOs.

3. Autotune – Refers to a software program to correct imperfect musical pitch. After rapper T-pain made good use of it the late night comedians picked it up and applied it weirdly to news clips. T-pain released his own iPhone app that has been downloaded to the tune of 10,000 a day. Bet he doesn’t care if he becomes a cliche with that kind of money rolling in daily at $3 an app. Whew!

Photo by Christy Bowe/Corbis

4. Wise Latina – Came from Sotomayor’s first Latina nomination to the Supreme Court. This is the much maligned and repeated line from her 2001 speech the racists tried to use against her: “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.” What’s funny is that her term of a wise Latina became a rallying cry in the Hispanic community where people proudly displayed it on T-shirts, coffee mugs, baby bibs and banners. Isn’t it great fun when the mean-spirited people get backfired?! 🙂

Republican Senator Grassley photo by Alex Wong/Getty

5. Death Panel – Senator Grassley from Iowa declared for sure that Obama’s health care plan would “pull the plug on Grandma.” This is the same guy who was crafting the bill, had read it supposedly and yet still claimed this to be true. The 1,000 page bill had no mention of committees that were set up to execute the infirm or the old. Dementia or just plain stupidity here?

Alaska’s weird Governor Palin shrieked from a Facebook message: “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society, whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.” Uh… Governor, can you read?

6. Birther – Speaking of shriekers, Orly Tait from California, peddled a huge fat lie that Obama was secretly smuggled into Hawaii just after his birth so he could qualify as an American citizen. What drugs was this guy on? This stuff is so incredulous you can’t make it up: he did. Now what mother who just gave birth is going to get on a plane with a day old baby and fly all the way from Kenya to America? Are you nuts or just not female? Worse, who is actually brain dead enough to believe any of this warped nonsense?

Obama was born in Hawaii, complete with birth certificate and birth announcement in a local paper. Yet the Birther crowd still demands to see the original document. Yeah, like I’m going to show a bunch of crazed folks my social security number and other personal data as a sitting President. Yeah, right.

Photo by Juice Images/Corbis

7. Opposite Marriage – It’s supposed to mean a marriage between a man and a woman but Miss California, Carrie Prejean, bungled her rambling answer to a question and it fumbled into this phrase. The question: Do you think gay marriage should be legalized in every state of the union? Answer: “Um, we live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there.” As you can guess there were some angry folks and a shouting match.

Michael Jackson Photo by Paul Richards/Getty

8. Summer of Death – A number of high profile notable celebrities passed away this year: singer Michael Jackson, actor Ed McMahon, actress Farrah Fawcett, newsman Walter Cronkite, actor and dancer Patrick Swayze, John Hughes and even beloved Taco Bell spokes-puppy Gidget the Chihuahua. Most of the deaths occurred from May to August of 2009.

From the New York Times: “No more celebrities had died than in past summers … this summer could come to be known as the summer when baby boomers began to turn to the obituary pages first, to face not merely their own mortality or ponder their legacies, but to witness the passing of legends who defined them as a tribe, bequeathing through music, culture, news and politics a kind of generational badge that has begun to fray.”

Photo by Pete Souza/White House/Getty

9. Beer Summit – Prez Obama met with black Harvard professor Henry Gates, Jr. and white police officer Sergeant James Crowley to defuse a racial incident between them. The local police badly handled a call from one of Gates’ neighbors who thought someone was breaking into Gates’ house: it was Gates fumbling with his keys at the door.

The police got angry when Gates got angry and the whole thing blew up out of proportion, taking on racial overtones and a national controversy. Obama made public comments about the incident when he really should have remained above the fray.

Police profiling of minorities is a sticking point in America even after electing the first African-American President. Obama successfully sat down with the men over shared beers to lay to rest the overblown sensitive issue. Of course, the photographers had never seen an American President do such a thing and went wild in the Rose Garden snapping a piece of history.

Photo by Simon Marcus/Corbis

10. Green Shoots – What’s the first thing you think of when you hear this phrase? Yep! Spring time and vibrant green plant shoots rocketing out of the ground at record pace. Turns out this phrase has been around about twenty years now. It really caught on this year when Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, in a 60 Minutes interview, used it to describe his optimism for this year’s economic growth.

Of course, since then depressed and disappointed analysts – and desperate journalists – jumped on the bandwagon and wore it out trying to use it as a soothing effect on their audiences. From Slate’s Daniel Gross: “Economists are now walking around, eyes fixed on the ground like French rustics hunting for truffles, searching for verdant signs of growth.”

I have to admit it was truly bizarre to hear modern day crusty personality business journalists using the phrase “verdant signs of growth” like they had just popped in from a 19th century luncheon with Sherlock Holmes at a poetry slam. I’ll have to keep my eye on these guys in 2010 just to make sure they aren’t suffering from buzzword dementia… 🙂

*** THANKS for visiting!

How Funny! 10 Banned Overused Buzzwords of 2009

4 Jan

From Denny: That’s the thing about buzzwords. First they are cool because they are a clever reference or manipulation of other words and then everyone starts using them. Our minds so crave something clever and unusual.

Then those same cool words get overused and suddenly people turn on them, like a rabid dog bites its once loved owner, declaring them now uncool. I can only imagine the confusion of someone trying to learn the English language. The occasional idioms are one thing but popular current language is a real mind-bender at times. I’m a native speaker and even I scratch my head sometimes, going, “Huh?” 🙂

Well, lucky you, these words and phrases are on their way “out” of our everyday language for 2010. Of course, who in the heck declares what’s “in” or “out” anyway? Some fairy godmother waving her wand over the globe? Well, on to new magic in the New Year!

Photo by Betsie Van Der Meer/Corbis

1. Sexting = sex + texting – Parents are horrified, kids snicker, while someone gets slapped with pornography charges for dirty dialing on the phone. Not too funny when the law comes calling and empties your wallet for the deed.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid photo by Nicholas Kamm/Getty

2. Public option – Health care reform bill reference to a government run health care plan that is actually affordable. The popular idea is it would compete with private plans to force the insurance companies to keep their prices in line “or else” the public has a cheaper alternative with the government. Works for me. Seems to me the only ones that want to ban this phrase are the insurance companies because it means less billion dollar profits to the CEOs.

3. Autotune – Refers to a software program to correct imperfect musical pitch. After rapper T-pain made good use of it the late night comedians picked it up and applied it weirdly to news clips. T-pain released his own iPhone app that has been downloaded to the tune of 10,000 a day. Bet he doesn’t care if he becomes a cliche with that kind of money rolling in daily at $3 an app. Whew!

Photo by Christy Bowe/Corbis

4. Wise Latina – Came from Sotomayor’s first Latina nomination to the Supreme Court. This is the much maligned and repeated line from her 2001 speech the racists tried to use against her: “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.” What’s funny is that her term of a wise Latina became a rallying cry in the Hispanic community where people proudly displayed it on T-shirts, coffee mugs, baby bibs and banners. Isn’t it great fun when the mean-spirited people get backfired?! 🙂

Republican Senator Grassley photo by Alex Wong/Getty

5. Death Panel – Senator Grassley from Iowa declared for sure that Obama’s health care plan would “pull the plug on Grandma.” This is the same guy who was crafting the bill, had read it supposedly and yet still claimed this to be true. The 1,000 page bill had no mention of committees that were set up to execute the infirm or the old. Dementia or just plain stupidity here?

Alaska’s weird Governor Palin shrieked from a Facebook message: “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society, whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.” Uh… Governor, can you read?

6. Birther – Speaking of shriekers, Orly Tait from California, peddled a huge fat lie that Obama was secretly smuggled into Hawaii just after his birth so he could qualify as an American citizen. What drugs was this guy on? This stuff is so incredulous you can’t make it up: he did. Now what mother who just gave birth is going to get on a plane with a day old baby and fly all the way from Kenya to America? Are you nuts or just not female? Worse, who is actually brain dead enough to believe any of this warped nonsense?

Obama was born in Hawaii, complete with birth certificate and birth announcement in a local paper. Yet the Birther crowd still demands to see the original document. Yeah, like I’m going to show a bunch of crazed folks my social security number and other personal data as a sitting President. Yeah, right.

Photo by Juice Images/Corbis

7. Opposite Marriage – It’s supposed to mean a marriage between a man and a woman but Miss California, Carrie Prejean, bungled her rambling answer to a question and it fumbled into this phrase. The question: Do you think gay marriage should be legalized in every state of the union? Answer: “Um, we live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there.” As you can guess there were some angry folks and a shouting match.

Michael Jackson Photo by Paul Richards/Getty

8. Summer of Death – A number of high profile notable celebrities passed away this year: singer Michael Jackson, actor Ed McMahon, actress Farrah Fawcett, newsman Walter Cronkite, actor and dancer Patrick Swayze, John Hughes and even beloved Taco Bell spokes-puppy Gidget the Chihuahua. Most of the deaths occurred from May to August of 2009.

From the New York Times: “No more celebrities had died than in past summers … this summer could come to be known as the summer when baby boomers began to turn to the obituary pages first, to face not merely their own mortality or ponder their legacies, but to witness the passing of legends who defined them as a tribe, bequeathing through music, culture, news and politics a kind of generational badge that has begun to fray.”

Photo by Pete Souza/White House/Getty

9. Beer Summit – Prez Obama met with black Harvard professor Henry Gates, Jr. and white police officer Sergeant James Crowley to defuse a racial incident between them. The local police badly handled a call from one of Gates’ neighbors who thought someone was breaking into Gates’ house: it was Gates fumbling with his keys at the door.

The police got angry when Gates got angry and the whole thing blew up out of proportion, taking on racial overtones and a national controversy. Obama made public comments about the incident when he really should have remained above the fray.

Police profiling of minorities is a sticking point in America even after electing the first African-American President. Obama successfully sat down with the men over shared beers to lay to rest the overblown sensitive issue. Of course, the photographers had never seen an American President do such a thing and went wild in the Rose Garden snapping a piece of history.

Photo by Simon Marcus/Corbis

10. Green Shoots – What’s the first thing you think of when you hear this phrase? Yep! Spring time and vibrant green plant shoots rocketing out of the ground at record pace. Turns out this phrase has been around about twenty years now. It really caught on this year when Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, in a 60 Minutes interview, used it to describe his optimism for this year’s economic growth.

Of course, since then depressed and disappointed analysts – and desperate journalists – jumped on the bandwagon and wore it out trying to use it as a soothing effect on their audiences. From Slate’s Daniel Gross: “Economists are now walking around, eyes fixed on the ground like French rustics hunting for truffles, searching for verdant signs of growth.”

I have to admit it was truly bizarre to hear modern day crusty personality business journalists using the phrase “verdant signs of growth” like they had just popped in from a 19th century luncheon with Sherlock Holmes at a poetry slam. I’ll have to keep my eye on these guys in 2010 just to make sure they aren’t suffering from buzzword dementia… 🙂

*** THANKS for visiting!

How Funny! 10 Banned Overused Buzzwords of 2009

4 Jan

From Denny: That’s the thing about buzzwords. First they are cool because they are a clever reference or manipulation of other words and then everyone starts using them. Our minds so crave something clever and unusual.

Then those same cool words get overused and suddenly people turn on them, like a rabid dog bites its once loved owner, declaring them now uncool. I can only imagine the confusion of someone trying to learn the English language. The occasional idioms are one thing but popular current language is a real mind-bender at times. I’m a native speaker and even I scratch my head sometimes, going, “Huh?” 🙂

Well, lucky you, these words and phrases are on their way “out” of our everyday language for 2010. Of course, who in the heck declares what’s “in” or “out” anyway? Some fairy godmother waving her wand over the globe? Well, on to new magic in the New Year!

Photo by Betsie Van Der Meer/Corbis

1. Sexting = sex + texting – Parents are horrified, kids snicker, while someone gets slapped with pornography charges for dirty dialing on the phone. Not too funny when the law comes calling and empties your wallet for the deed.

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid photo by Nicholas Kamm/Getty

2. Public option – Health care reform bill reference to a government run health care plan that is actually affordable. The popular idea is it would compete with private plans to force the insurance companies to keep their prices in line “or else” the public has a cheaper alternative with the government. Works for me. Seems to me the only ones that want to ban this phrase are the insurance companies because it means less billion dollar profits to the CEOs.

3. Autotune – Refers to a software program to correct imperfect musical pitch. After rapper T-pain made good use of it the late night comedians picked it up and applied it weirdly to news clips. T-pain released his own iPhone app that has been downloaded to the tune of 10,000 a day. Bet he doesn’t care if he becomes a cliche with that kind of money rolling in daily at $3 an app. Whew!

Photo by Christy Bowe/Corbis

4. Wise Latina – Came from Sotomayor’s first Latina nomination to the Supreme Court. This is the much maligned and repeated line from her 2001 speech the racists tried to use against her: “I would hope that a wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn’t lived that life.” What’s funny is that her term of a wise Latina became a rallying cry in the Hispanic community where people proudly displayed it on T-shirts, coffee mugs, baby bibs and banners. Isn’t it great fun when the mean-spirited people get backfired?! 🙂

Republican Senator Grassley photo by Alex Wong/Getty

5. Death Panel – Senator Grassley from Iowa declared for sure that Obama’s health care plan would “pull the plug on Grandma.” This is the same guy who was crafting the bill, had read it supposedly and yet still claimed this to be true. The 1,000 page bill had no mention of committees that were set up to execute the infirm or the old. Dementia or just plain stupidity here?

Alaska’s weird Governor Palin shrieked from a Facebook message: “The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down Syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama’s ‘death panel’ so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their “level of productivity in society, whether they are worthy of health care. Such a system is downright evil.” Uh… Governor, can you read?

6. Birther – Speaking of shriekers, Orly Tait from California, peddled a huge fat lie that Obama was secretly smuggled into Hawaii just after his birth so he could qualify as an American citizen. What drugs was this guy on? This stuff is so incredulous you can’t make it up: he did. Now what mother who just gave birth is going to get on a plane with a day old baby and fly all the way from Kenya to America? Are you nuts or just not female? Worse, who is actually brain dead enough to believe any of this warped nonsense?

Obama was born in Hawaii, complete with birth certificate and birth announcement in a local paper. Yet the Birther crowd still demands to see the original document. Yeah, like I’m going to show a bunch of crazed folks my social security number and other personal data as a sitting President. Yeah, right.

Photo by Juice Images/Corbis

7. Opposite Marriage – It’s supposed to mean a marriage between a man and a woman but Miss California, Carrie Prejean, bungled her rambling answer to a question and it fumbled into this phrase. The question: Do you think gay marriage should be legalized in every state of the union? Answer: “Um, we live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage and, you know what, in my country and, in my family, I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there.” As you can guess there were some angry folks and a shouting match.

Michael Jackson Photo by Paul Richards/Getty

8. Summer of Death – A number of high profile notable celebrities passed away this year: singer Michael Jackson, actor Ed McMahon, actress Farrah Fawcett, newsman Walter Cronkite, actor and dancer Patrick Swayze, John Hughes and even beloved Taco Bell spokes-puppy Gidget the Chihuahua. Most of the deaths occurred from May to August of 2009.

From the New York Times: “No more celebrities had died than in past summers … this summer could come to be known as the summer when baby boomers began to turn to the obituary pages first, to face not merely their own mortality or ponder their legacies, but to witness the passing of legends who defined them as a tribe, bequeathing through music, culture, news and politics a kind of generational badge that has begun to fray.”

Photo by Pete Souza/White House/Getty

9. Beer Summit – Prez Obama met with black Harvard professor Henry Gates, Jr. and white police officer Sergeant James Crowley to defuse a racial incident between them. The local police badly handled a call from one of Gates’ neighbors who thought someone was breaking into Gates’ house: it was Gates fumbling with his keys at the door.

The police got angry when Gates got angry and the whole thing blew up out of proportion, taking on racial overtones and a national controversy. Obama made public comments about the incident when he really should have remained above the fray.

Police profiling of minorities is a sticking point in America even after electing the first African-American President. Obama successfully sat down with the men over shared beers to lay to rest the overblown sensitive issue. Of course, the photographers had never seen an American President do such a thing and went wild in the Rose Garden snapping a piece of history.

Photo by Simon Marcus/Corbis

10. Green Shoots – What’s the first thing you think of when you hear this phrase? Yep! Spring time and vibrant green plant shoots rocketing out of the ground at record pace. Turns out this phrase has been around about twenty years now. It really caught on this year when Federal Reserve chairman Ben Bernanke, in a 60 Minutes interview, used it to describe his optimism for this year’s economic growth.

Of course, since then depressed and disappointed analysts – and desperate journalists – jumped on the bandwagon and wore it out trying to use it as a soothing effect on their audiences. From Slate’s Daniel Gross: “Economists are now walking around, eyes fixed on the ground like French rustics hunting for truffles, searching for verdant signs of growth.”

I have to admit it was truly bizarre to hear modern day crusty personality business journalists using the phrase “verdant signs of growth” like they had just popped in from a 19th century luncheon with Sherlock Holmes at a poetry slam. I’ll have to keep my eye on these guys in 2010 just to make sure they aren’t suffering from buzzword dementia… 🙂

*** THANKS for visiting!

This Weeks Posts at Beautiful Illustrated Quotations

15 Nov

From Denny: Here’s a roundup of quotations’ posts this past week in case you missed any…

Life is a Gift!

Whats Your Attitude Toward Life?

Veterans Day Quote, Links to Memorial Poems, Peace Quotes

3 Wonderful Quotes About Joy

5 Powerful Soul Affirmations, Soul Journey Poem

How Do You Know If You Have a Weak Mind?

Awww, 7 Funny Dog Photos to Make You Laugh

When Something Inside You Dies, Do You Know How to Renew Your Life?

Do You Sell Your Soul For Others Admiration?

*** Thanks for visiting and come back often! 🙂

13 Lollapalooza Halloween Posts to Make You Grin!

31 Oct

From Denny: Here’s a roundup of all the funny and informative Halloween posts from this week – Dennys Blog Feeds where you can view all the blogs at a glance for description and headlines to recent posts:

5 Crazy Funny Halloween Posts for Recipes, Costumes, Parties

From Denny: I’ve been writing intensely all day to get out all the funny Halloween related videos I’ve found and tasty recipes! I’m downright bug-eyed that I’m not sure which end is up – literally by the funny odd photo I found on StumbleUpon.

You will enjoy all these crazy posts as they were great fun to write:

5 Campy Halloween Posts, Costume Ideas and Recipes

Halloween Italian Comfort Food: Halloween Purses, Pumpkin Risotto, Chocolate Pudding Cake, Pumpkin Bread Pudding, Nutella Apples

Video: Halloween Campy Cakes – Chocolate Spider Cakes, Ghoulish Ghost Cakes

4 Campy Halloween Drinks for Your Party, Find Out Halloween Trivia

This little kittie is staying indoors come Halloween night… smart move, Oh, Wise One…

From Denny: What is Halloween without something a bit campy and ridiculous? The first post has a recipe and some sophisticated inexpensive decorating ideas. The costume ideas for you and your soon-to-look-ridiculous dog are the funniest. I like the X-Ray Machine costume best.

The second recipe shows you how to easily assemble your own Oreo cookie black Halloween spider cookies which are sure to be a hit with the kids at the door or your friends at your posh Halloween party!

Halloween

Video and Recipe: Halloween Pumpkin Chocolate-Chip Pound Cake, Decorating Ideas, Pumpkin Carving Tips, Amusing Costume Ideas for You and Your Pets

Recipe: Fun Halloween Oreo Spider Cookies

OK, these posts are so scary they are funny! (Lame, I know… I just love it when people over-hype their products. It’s so outrageous.)

Funny

Lampooning Perfectionists is the latest Cheeky Quote Day! segment over at The Social Poets to get you laughing and thinking about how to improve your life without making it stressful.

Lampooning Perfectionists – Cheeky Quote Day 28 Oct 2009

I went cruising the web looking for more funny chocolate quotes than I already have stashed on Romancing The Chocolate blog and ran into funny Sandra Boynton’s site. She has a new movie short just released a couple of days ago. B. B. King sings alongside his famous sidekick Lucille.

Let’s all support her as this is her first movie debut. The little documentary that sidekicks it is interesting as to how many people it really takes, all the hoops they have to jump through, just to make a tiny film – and she made it funny too!

5 Funny Chocolate Quotes, Sandra Boyntons B. B. King Video

In case you missed any of these cute little Halloween funnies over at Dennys Funny Quotes, here’s a repeat:

(Featured new today) Video: Creepy Hotels for Halloween Getaways

Repeats:

Funny Halloween Quotes, Halloween Cartoon

Cheeky Quote Day at The Social Poets, Funny Halloween Animation

*** Handmade Unique – lists posts from several blogs around the blogosphere with Halloween posts.

*** Thanks for visiting, everyone, and thanks for your great support! Have a fun and safe Halloween!

*** Editorial political cartoons will be here tomorrow for Sunday’s post. Come on, you know that Halloween is so campy and funny that no writer can resist the temptation of writing posts for the silly holiday we enjoy so much. It’s just too much fun! You know me; I’m always up for a good grinner! 🙂